Microsoft: 'Buy the New Windows Phone. It's Boring.'

Less Addictive Than Competitors' Phones?

"Less staring. More clubbing."

--Sales pitch, new Windows phone 7

Having let my post-election guard down a bit -- fewer political commercials to screen -- I unwittingly caught a glimpse of Microsoft's TV ad campaign for its new Windows phone.

Apparently, its message is that people who are so obsessed with their cell phones that they're oblivious to everything else are dorks and boors.

"If you can't beat them . . . make fun of them??"

That may certainly be true, and it may even be a public service to point it out.

But that still seems to be an odd message coming from a company . . . trying to steal a slice of the cell phone market.

What's next -- a food company that markets its products by saying they taste so bad, you'll eat less of them and therefore be thinner??

How about a flat panel TV maker touting a new screen so blurry you won't be tempted to watch as much?

"So THAT'S Who's Running for Governor!"

The (Lawn Sign) Tide Recedes

First, a bit of explanation: thanks to the miracle of recorded TV and zipping/zapping, I watched virtually NO TV political commercials this election season.

Second, I get almost all my news online, and have for years; so, I've become very good at tuning out all the commercial noise on the periphery of my PC screen (so-called "interstitial ads," which temporarily commandeer all of your screen, are the one especially obnoxious exception).

With that as background, I'm happy to report that, at T+3 days following the 2010 election, here in Minnesota the only lawn signs still vying for everyone's attention say either "Dayton" or "Emmer" -- thanks to the looming gubernatorial race recount.

Here's hoping we don't get to see them against a snowy background, when they'll really stand out.

The World Series . . . of Advertising

Embedded Ads, or, P&G vs. TiVo

For at least about a generation now -- roughly since the advent of the remote control -- there has been an increasingly high-stakes "arms race" being waged between mass market advertisers on one side, and consumers seeking to avoid those ads on the other.

In fact, the conflict predates the Internet, going all the way back to the remote control.

Back in the TV dark ages -- like 1978 -- the first thing TV watchers learned to use the remote control to do was "zap" commercials, by switching channels.

With the advent of TiVo and recorded TV came another term: "zipping," or consumers fast-forwarding through commercials.

Filtering vs. Embedding

So how have the Procter & Gamble's of the advertising world responded?

A number of ways.

Advertisers' first attempt to capture online eyeballs was via "banner ads." Exactly what they sound like, banner ads are plastered at the top -- and now sides and bottom -- of the Web page you're looking at.

It turns out that consumers learned to ignore those ads like so much wallpaper, as evidenced by anemic "click-through" rates.

So, online advertisers have become more aggressive.

You likely have already encountered the successor to banner ads, called "interstitial" ads. That is, before your browser "serves" the Web page you just clicked on, it slips in -- for one to three seconds -- an advertising-sponsored page.

Sometimes you can cancel interstitial ads, sometimes you're stuck and have to wait until they disappear.

The Front Lines: TV

It's on TV, though, where the most sophisticated responses to zipping, zapping, etc. are on display (likely because TV advertisers have had the most time to respond to the threat).

It turns out that the best way to negate the effects of all that zipping and zapping is to actually embed products in the TV program itself.

So, on shows like "Two and a Half Men," Charlie Harper doesn't just have a carton of orange juice on his kitchen table, he has a carton of Minute Maid orange juice on his table -- and the label is clearly visible.

Sports programming -- especially baseball -- contains another kind of embedded ad: the "virtual billboard" superimposed on the baseball backstop, outfield wall, or other prominent location.

Embedded ads are now a feature at the movies, too.

Supposedly, the James Bond sequels now contain so much embedded, product placement that advertising is starting to supplement ticket sales as a source of revenue.

The trend has gotten so advanced that it has become ripe for satire on sitcoms like 30 Rock, which show the performers not only using and consuming various advertised products . . . but talking about how much they love them!

Interstitial Ads -- the TV version

What caught my eye watching last night's Yankees - Phillies World Series game wasn't CC Sabathia's pitching, or A-Rod's hitting, but the latest incarnation of interstitial ads -- especially adapted to TV, and specifically, sports.

Maybe it was just my imagination, but after the first out in the top of the first inning, I swear the announcers cut away for a 5 second car (?) commercial, with the voice over announcing that "the first out had been sponsored by" whoever the advertiser was.

Obviously, this is a trend with legs: it's not hard to imagine commercial interruptions accelerating to the point where they occur in between every pitch, foul ball, and even waved-off catcher's sign to the pitcher.

Worse, that trend is likely to pop up first precisely where it's most annoying: a close, high stakes contest with lots of national interest.

Like the fourth game of the 2009 World Series . . . .