Translating Realtor-Speak

English, Please!

LL/BR is non-conforming. Lkbx on Bk dr. Frnt prch/crftsmn wdwrk/ tiled bath/gleaming Maple flrs/HVAC-elect '05, oven '09/lrg walkin closet/maint-free ext./prof lndscpng/gorgeous 3 seas porch! Wkshp in gar.

--Excerpt from actual MLS listing

With only 256 characters and spaces in MLS's Agent and Public remarks fields, there is natually a temptation to try to cram too much information in.

One way to do that is truncated words and abbreviations; another is acronymns.

However, as the excerpt above shows, less can sometimes be, well, less.

For those who don't know Realtor-speak, here is a translation of the verbiage above, taken from an actual listing:

The lower level Bedroom is non-conforming (it's not legally finished square feet because it's lacking the requisite 7 feet height, a closet, heat source, and/or egress window).

The lockbox is on the back door.

Highlights include a front porch; Craftsman woodwork; tiled bath; gleaming Maple floors.

Also: the heating, ventilation, and air conditioning were replaced in 2005; the oven in 2009.

There is a large walk-in closet.

Other highlights: a maintenance-free exterior; professional landscaping; and a gorgeous, three-season porch.

There is a workshop in the garage.

There!

That wasn't so hard . . . .

"Agent Remarks" by Ross Kaplan

Proposed Book Title

I know you're supposed to come up with the book before you come up with a title, but never mind.

If I ever write a real estate book -- and with something like 1,500 blog posts under my belt, I probably already have -- I know what I'll call it: 'Agent Remarks.'

That's a very "inside baseball-y" reference to how home information is presented on MLS.

In one field, called "Public Remarks," the agents extol all the home's virtues.

Meanwhile, in the field immediately above, called "Agent Remarks" -- intended only for agents -- they provide any 'dish': available selling bonuses, the Seller's true circumstances and motivation; a (more) honest assessment of the home's strengths and weaknesses.

P.S.: and if you're a Realtor reading this blog, remember that everything I write is copyrighted, and that I'm friendly with lots of the attorneys I used to practice corporate law with.

That would be Moss & Barnett -- not just very good lawyers but also "mentches" (Yiddish for "good, principled people"). You're welcome for the plug, guys . . .

P.P.S.: As any Buyer who's ever worked with me will vouch for, I always print out what Realtors call the "Unabridged Full" MLS report for my clients, so that they see and know everything I do.

Hmmm . . . "Unabridged Full . . . I think I know what to call the sequel!

Where's the House? Behind the Garage

"Not a Drive-By," Illustrated

In contrast to the Hopkins home discussed in the next post ("It's Listed for HOW MUCH??"), there's no hiding the garage on this Linden Hills home.

Which would explain the lead shot on MLS -- a pretty, azalea-framed shot of Lake Harriet -- combined with this comment in both the Public and Agent Remarks fields: 'To fully appreciate this one, you must come inside!'