A.C.R.O.N.Y.M. (& C-A-P-I-T-A-L-I-Z-A-T-I-O-N) OVERLOAD

Translation, Please

WELL DESIGNED, STYLISH 2 STY CUSTOM BUILT IN 2005. MAPLE FLRS THRU-OUT LR, FRML DR, OFFICE & KIT. LUXURY SS APPLS-GRANITE CNTRS-CER TILE BATHS. 4 BR UP-MSTR HAS W-I CLST, WHRLPL TUB & SEP SHWR. SPKR SYS, PREM HVAC & SEC SYS. EGRESS WIND & R/I BA IN LL.

--new MLS listing (7/29/09)

I certainly admire the listing agent's intention: to cram in as much useful info about this home as possible, to entice prospective Buyers.

However, at some point, more is, well . . . less.

The all-block letters don't help either. As anyone who's used email for more than an hour knows, that is the online equivalent of screaming.

The preferred way (at least in my opinion) of telling the market about the home's various features is to list them in a supplement.

Everything But a Headline

If you don't know Realtor-speak, here is the same paragraph in plain English:

Well-designed, stylish 2-story custom-built in 2005. Maple floors throughout Living Room, formal Dining Room, Office & Kitchen. Luxury stainless steel appliances -- granite countertops, ceramic tile baths. Four bedrooms up -- master bedroom has a walk-in closet, whirlpool tub & separate shower. Speaker system; premium heating, ventilation, & air conditioning; & security system. Egress window & rough-in bathroom in lower level.

For the record, substituting "&" for "and" is fine . . .

P.S.: As a sum-up headline -- which the listing badly needs -- here's my suggestion: 'This House is Loaded!"