Real Estate Euphemisms -- Office Manager Edition

"You Crack Me Up" (& Other White Lies)

I've already addressed Realtor euphemisms in a post titled, "Homes with 'Great Personalities' -- & Other White Lies" (ranked fourth in the world by Google, incidentally -- type in "real estate euphemisms" and see for yourself).

In the spirit of inclusiveness, I thought I'd do a follow-up devoted to real estate office manager euphemisms (or at least one in particular):

What the office manager says: 'you crack me up.'
What they mean: 'you exasperate me.'

What the office manager says: 'I think we've covered that' (uttered at a contentious weekly office meeting)
What the office manager means: 'Everyone, shut the &%!@# up already!'

What the office manager says: 'I might have put that a little differently."
What the office manager means: 'You said what?? To them? Are you crazy?!!'

What the office manager says: 'You didn't need me to tell you that.'
What the office manager means: 'You needed me to tell you that?!?"

What the office manager says: 'What can I help you with, [your first name here, uttered (a little too) slowly]?'
What the office manager means: 'You're calling my home line -- after hours -- again??"

Note all the !!'s and ??'s omitted from the first (euphemistic) version of each pair.

Thanks, Josh . . . . (you can't say I never listen to you anymore).

Fellow Realtors: (Usually) Friendly Rivals

Realtor Karma & Behind-the-Scenes Cooperation

Even though there are a couple thousand attorneys in the Twin Cities, only a fraction of them are direct competitors.

That's because lawyers' practice areas are increasingly specialized (corporate, personal injury, intellectual property, etc.). In fact, even those practice areas divide into multiple sub-specialities.

The same specialization is generally not true of local Realtors.

So, out of a couple thousand (plus!) local Realtors, hypothetically, your competition for that next listing could be . . . . a couple thousand local Realtors.

Such a hyper-competitive environment could certainly make for lots of nasty rivalry, backstabbing, and otherwise "bad behavior." And some of that definitely goes on (ask any office manager).

But in general, "relations" between Realtors are surprisingly collegial and professional.

Real-Life Examples

To pick just two examples:

In the course of doing a CMA ("Comparative Market Analysis"), it's common for Realtors to ask fellow Realtors about the features of a home they recently sold -- usually, to explain an otherwise puzzling premium or discount.

I have been on both the originating and receiving end of such calls many times.

Example #2 occurred just this week.

I'm currently representing a Buyer who's purchasing a townhome in a larger development in the west suburbs.

The inspection is Thursday, and my client wanted to know if he should pay extra for a radon test. Radon is an invisible gas caused by decomposing soil and rocks, and is a health threat at elevated levels (generally defined as over 4.0 picoliters per million).

From previous deals, I know that the incidence of radon is highly localized: one neighborhood can have an issue, and another a mile away, not.

Who to ask?

It turns out that one Realtor in particular handles a big chunk of the transactions in the complex.

So, I called him.

"Nope, not an issue," he helpfully volunteered.

The handful of tests that have been performed all passed with flying colors, he told me.

Done!

Real Estate's Invisible Hand

Lots of Hats: The Office Manager's Role

What makes you think I got out of social work?

--Josh Kaplan, Edina Realty- City Lakes Office Manager (and former social worker)

If you've ever bought or sold a home through an agent who works for a big broker (Edina Realty, Coldwell Banker Burnet, etc.), your deal was very likely guided -- at least a little bit -- by someone completely unknown to you.

(If your deal was especially challenging, make that guided a lot.)

Who?

Your agent's office manager.

All those bathroom breaks your agent took during that complicated closing?

It's a fair bet that they were actually on the phone with their office manager, getting direction.

(In my own case, I vividly recall frantically speed-dialing Josh Kaplan, my office manager, in the middle of a closing involving a South Minneapolis duplex. The buyer -- yours truly! -- had neglected to require that the tenants' security deposits be assigned as part of the Purchase Agreement.)

Even if your agent is a veteran, it's still likely that their office manager influences how they conduct their real estate practice.

Here's a (partial) list of all the hats that the office manager wears:

Recruiter. The office manager decides who your colleagues will be.

The reason that the City Lakes office is one of the most diverse, interesting (and productive) in town is because Josh picked the Realtors in it (and vice versa).

Referee/Umpire. Real estate is a competitive business, full of big ego's, turf battles, and occasionally (too) sharp elbows -- and that's just the Realtors!

The office manager gets to sort them all out.

Business Coach. Even excellent agents go through slumps, have the occasional tough deal (or a string of them), can get burned out, etc. The first door they knock on is usually their office manager's (see next).

Psychologist/Social Worker. The reason real estate agents seem so unflappable is that they do all their venting behind closed doors (their office manager's).

Trainer. No one learns how to sell real estate in a classroom. You learn by doing it, and by being in an office where the culture is cooperative and dedicated to continuous skill-building.

Ethical Guidepost. The office manager sets the tone for what is and isn't acceptable. The Realtors in the City Lakes office are known for their professionalism and ethics, because Josh makes those priorities.

Businessperson. At the end of the day, the office manager's ultimate responsibility is to make sure that their office is profitable . . . so that it STAYS OPEN.

The City Lakes office is consistently one of Edina Realty's most profitable -- and has been a standout the last few years.

Thanks, Josh! (Do I get that vacant corner office now?)

P.S.: One last office manager "hat," at least in my own case: proof-reading and vetting (sensitive) blog posts.