Real Estate Euphemisms

Homes with "Great Personalities" -- & Other White Lies

Every sales-related profession has them: euphemisms intended to put a positive face on what most people would agree is a negative.

In that spirit, here is a "conversion key" to some of the most popular real estate terms today:

What the listing says: 'quick closing possible.'
What the agent means: the home's vacant.

What the listing says: 'meticulously cared for"
What the agent means: long-time owner, home needs major updating.

What the listing says: 'needs cosmetics'
What the agent means: needs . . . everything.

What the listing says: 'just needs your decorating touches'
What the agent means: needs a general contractor, lots of sub's -- and a healthy rehab budget

What the listing says: 'cozy'
What the agent means: small -- if not claustrophobic

What the listing says: 'priced to sell'
What the agent means: nothing -- what home on the market says it isn't "priced to sell?" (ditto for any phrase with the word "opportunity" in it).

What the listing says: 'not a foreclosure, not a short sale.'
What the agent means: the home's (too) close to many that are (actually, given the headaches associated with short sales especially, this is a "heads' up" that's actually helpful).

What the listing says: 'experienced short sale agent'
What the agent means: I've got way too much experience already . . . trying to sell this one.

Any other Realtors reading this blog care to contribute their own favorites??