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Friday, June 11, 2010

Real Estate Euphemisms -- Office Manager Edition

"You Crack Me Up" (& Other White Lies)

I've already addressed Realtor euphemisms in a post titled, "Homes with 'Great Personalities' -- & Other White Lies" (ranked fourth in the world by Google, incidentally -- type in "real estate euphemisms" and see for yourself).

In the spirit of inclusiveness, I thought I'd do a follow-up devoted to real estate office manager euphemisms (or at least one in particular):

What the office manager says: 'you crack me up.'
What they mean: 'you exasperate me.'

What the office manager says: 'I think we've covered that' (uttered at a contentious weekly office meeting)
What the office manager means: 'Everyone, shut the &%!@# up already!'

What the office manager says: 'I might have put that a little differently."
What the office manager means: 'You said what?? To them? Are you crazy?!!'

What the office manager says: 'You didn't need me to tell you that.'
What the office manager means: 'You needed me to tell you that?!?"

What the office manager says: 'What can I help you with, [your first name here, uttered (a little too) slowly]?'
What the office manager means: 'You're calling my home line -- after hours -- again??"

Note all the !!'s and ??'s omitted from the first (euphemistic) version of each pair.

Thanks, Josh . . . . (you can't say I never listen to you anymore).

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