How to Keep Hardwood Floors Uncovered

(Borrowed) Realtor Tools of the Trade

The cobbler's kids always goes barefoot.

--Proverb

The physical therapist's husband's back always aches.

--Corollary

Being married to a physical therapist doesn't guaranty me free treatment for my achy back; on the contrary, that's the last thing my wife is interested in doing after attending to patients all day.

But, that doesn't mean there aren't fringe benefits.

My new listing has gorgeous hardwood floors covered by carpet, which stubbornly wouldn't stay peeled back: duct tape, heavy stone bookends, and large rocks (literally from my yard) didn't work aesthetically and/or literally.

The solution?

My wife's 5 lb. and 10 lb. physical therapy weights -- also ideal as "paper (carpet?) weights."

"Hut. Hut. Hut."

Quarterbacks, Football and Otherwise

"5897."

"T-Y-R"

"927-5201 "

"525-8800"

"377."

Brett Favre at the line of scrimmage?

Try, the listing agent (me) imparting to the Buyer the various house codes and contact information at the closing (my client, the Seller, was out-of-town, and had pre-signed).

Those numbers and codes (not the real numbers) correspond to: the code for the lockbox (left on the front door); the security system code; the Seller's new home number; their handyman's number (scheduled to do a repair, post-closing); and the code for the garage pad.

As I always like to say, "the listing agent is the quarterback of the deal."

Multiple Offers . . . in Progress

"Hmm, I Wonder Where That Lockbox Key Went??"

An interesting little contest is shaping up over a certain Twin Cities foreclosure that came on the market yesterday for 50% of its tax assessed value.

I am withholding the address because I have a client interested in buying it, but here's the background:

A saved search on my computer popped up the home 90 minutes after it hit the market yesterday morning.

Because the agent remarks indicated the home was "As is," and the price was tantalizingly low, I called the listing agent to make sure it didn't need hundreds of thousands of dollars in repairs.

"Negative," he said.

"But, it's already sold," he continued.

"The bank already signed an offer that came in the first 45 minutes it was on the market."

The Plot Thickens

Yowza.

With all the details involved in getting a Purchase Agreement executed, it's almost inevitable that there'll be at least one loose end -- especially if there's a bank involved, as is the case here -- that will give one party or the other an out.

And with instant, multiple offers, that's exactly what the bank wanted.

So late last night, I received an email from the listing agent indicating that the first, supposedly accepted offer wasn't in fact completely executed, and that all interested parties were invited to join the bidding.

Sand in the Gears

Once whoever took the keys and lockbox cover returns them, that is.

It turns out that the (vacant) home wasn't available to be shown almost all of yesterday because the lockbox keys (and cover) had been removed.

The agent's email publicly asks whoever took them to return them -- their identity isn't really much of mystery to the listing agent, who knows exactly who got in yesterday and who didn't (or soon will).

The listing agent's email continues that the bidding process for the property will be delayed until the key is returned, and that if it isn't promptly returned, the locks will be changed to accommodate agents whose showings were thwarted yesterday.

Nice to see a listing agent handling it this way: level playing field, open and transparent communication to all interested parties, etc.

Real Estate "Whodunit"

Ditching the lockbox key is actually pretty rare (If I had any doubts about the screaming deal this home represents -- I don't now).

It's also more likely to backfire on the agent pulling it; clearly, it's already seriously annoyed the listing agent, which is never a good thing.

It's also eminently traceable, given how well-documented showing requests are today (100% computer-driven).

By contrast, in my first week of law school school in 1987, when a certain dusty treatise that everyone needed for a research project disappeared . . . it wasn't so easy to trace.

Want to find out what happens to "the home with the missing keys" next?

Stay tuned . . . .

Talking Heads & the Housing Market

Missing Voices

One of the oddities -- at least to me -- about selling real estate these days is to peruse Op-Ed pages full of people with opinions about the "true state" of the housing market, its future direction -- and what should be done to fix it.

Print journalists (there's an anachronism). Economists. Government officials. Elected politicians. "Members of the Media" (mainstream and minor). Think tank-types. Senior business executives. Financiers. Bloggers.

With some notable exceptions, most of these people are based in either New York or Washington, and none of them have real, boots-on-the-ground insight into the rhythms and nuances of the housing market -- their own locally, and certainly the national market (which is an agglomeration of hundreds of local markets).

The only voice missing from the cacophony?

Realtors' (and PR mouthpieces like NAR don't count).

P.S.: "caveat emptor" applies equally to ideas as well as to products.

Selling to Bill Gates

P.S. to "Know Your Customer"

"Yeah, Yeah," I can hear some of my selling clients saying after reading the previous post.

"But what if Bill Gates showed up to buy my house?"

If Bill Gates wanted to buy your home, the odds are extremely high that you'd never know it -- at least until after it closed.

That's because he'd very likely use an intermediary or straw buyer to do the transaction.

That's how the Walt Disney Corporation bought thousands of acres, cheap, near Orlando, FL for what ultimately became Disney World.

Even if a particularly well-heeled Buyer didn't bother to conceal their identity, the odds of their overpaying for your home would still be negligible.

That's because someone financially sophisticated would invariably be represented by . . . an aggressive, financially sophisticated Realtor.

That Realtor would educate them about prevailing prices, and show them all the competing homes for sale at the same price point.

Then, they'd negotiate to get the best possible price and terms.