Translating Realtor-Speak

English, Please!

LL/BR is non-conforming. Lkbx on Bk dr. Frnt prch/crftsmn wdwrk/ tiled bath/gleaming Maple flrs/HVAC-elect '05, oven '09/lrg walkin closet/maint-free ext./prof lndscpng/gorgeous 3 seas porch! Wkshp in gar.

--Excerpt from actual MLS listing

With only 256 characters and spaces in MLS's Agent and Public remarks fields, there is natually a temptation to try to cram too much information in.

One way to do that is truncated words and abbreviations; another is acronymns.

However, as the excerpt above shows, less can sometimes be, well, less.

For those who don't know Realtor-speak, here is a translation of the verbiage above, taken from an actual listing:

The lower level Bedroom is non-conforming (it's not legally finished square feet because it's lacking the requisite 7 feet height, a closet, heat source, and/or egress window).

The lockbox is on the back door.

Highlights include a front porch; Craftsman woodwork; tiled bath; gleaming Maple floors.

Also: the heating, ventilation, and air conditioning were replaced in 2005; the oven in 2009.

There is a large walk-in closet.

Other highlights: a maintenance-free exterior; professional landscaping; and a gorgeous, three-season porch.

There is a workshop in the garage.

There!

That wasn't so hard . . . .

The Limits of Sales Incentives

Overpriced + Fat Payout = Overpriced

Can a whopper of an agent bonus move what appears to be an overpriced listing?

This South Minneapolis duplex (pictured above) would certainly seem to be an excellent test case.

Listed Friday for $430,000, what jumped about the listing -- besides the modest curb appeal and aggressive asking price -- was the $7,500 agent bonus being dangled in the "Agent Remarks" field.

Agent to Client: 'Buy THIS One!?!'

Unbeknownst to many prospective Buyers, MLS actually has two fields with descriptive information: the "Public Remarks" field, viewable to everyone; and the "Agent Remarks" field, intended only for agents.

Given that the standard, 2.7% payout being offered to the Buyer's Agent comes to $11,610 on a $430,000 property, a $7,500 bonus is certainly eye-catching.

Will that bonus goose showings?

Probably.

But when prospective Buyers arrive, they'll see a modestly-sized (2,400 square foot) property with an asking price that's almost $200,000 above the tax assessed value of $231,500.

That's a helluva premium, even for a duplex that's been completely updated, as this one is supposed to be.

Which is likely to prompt the prospective Buyer to ask, "what on earth are they thinking??" -- followed in quick order by this one, addressed to their Realtor, "exactly why did you want me to see this one so badly??"

That's why I make a practice of always providing my clients with the (unabridged) "Property Full" report from MLS.

In other words, they see what I see.

Standing Out From the Crowd

None of which is to say that I'm a critic of Realtor sales incentives.

Far from it (see, "4%!").

In fact, prospective Sellers who face scads of competition from other, near-identical homes would be well-advised to consider hiking the Buyer Agent payout from the standard 2.7%, to 3.15%.

Money motivates, and nobody (that I know) is selling real estate for the sheer thrill of it.

And yet . . . .

Sales incentives work best in conjunction with an otherwise well-priced, well-marketed home -- not as a substitute for those things.

Going back to the duplex discussed above, if the Seller were really serious about selling, they'd price at something like $299,900 and offer a 3-point-something payout.

"The Book on Real Estate"

Sequel to "Agent Remarks"

In the spirit of, it's much easier to come up with titles for yet-to-be-written books, than to actually write them, here's the name for the sequel to "Agent Remarks," my initial effort (also as yet unwritten).

Drum role . . . .

"The Book on Real Estate."

That way, people will be able to say that . . ."Ross Kaplan wrote 'The Book on Real Estate.'"

Actually, with almost 2,000 posts and approximately half a million words already published on this blog, I probably already have the raw material for a book or two.

Multiple Offers . . . in Progress

"Hmm, I Wonder Where That Lockbox Key Went??"

An interesting little contest is shaping up over a certain Twin Cities foreclosure that came on the market yesterday for 50% of its tax assessed value.

I am withholding the address because I have a client interested in buying it, but here's the background:

A saved search on my computer popped up the home 90 minutes after it hit the market yesterday morning.

Because the agent remarks indicated the home was "As is," and the price was tantalizingly low, I called the listing agent to make sure it didn't need hundreds of thousands of dollars in repairs.

"Negative," he said.

"But, it's already sold," he continued.

"The bank already signed an offer that came in the first 45 minutes it was on the market."

The Plot Thickens

Yowza.

With all the details involved in getting a Purchase Agreement executed, it's almost inevitable that there'll be at least one loose end -- especially if there's a bank involved, as is the case here -- that will give one party or the other an out.

And with instant, multiple offers, that's exactly what the bank wanted.

So late last night, I received an email from the listing agent indicating that the first, supposedly accepted offer wasn't in fact completely executed, and that all interested parties were invited to join the bidding.

Sand in the Gears

Once whoever took the keys and lockbox cover returns them, that is.

It turns out that the (vacant) home wasn't available to be shown almost all of yesterday because the lockbox keys (and cover) had been removed.

The agent's email publicly asks whoever took them to return them -- their identity isn't really much of mystery to the listing agent, who knows exactly who got in yesterday and who didn't (or soon will).

The listing agent's email continues that the bidding process for the property will be delayed until the key is returned, and that if it isn't promptly returned, the locks will be changed to accommodate agents whose showings were thwarted yesterday.

Nice to see a listing agent handling it this way: level playing field, open and transparent communication to all interested parties, etc.

Real Estate "Whodunit"

Ditching the lockbox key is actually pretty rare (If I had any doubts about the screaming deal this home represents -- I don't now).

It's also more likely to backfire on the agent pulling it; clearly, it's already seriously annoyed the listing agent, which is never a good thing.

It's also eminently traceable, given how well-documented showing requests are today (100% computer-driven).

By contrast, in my first week of law school school in 1987, when a certain dusty treatise that everyone needed for a research project disappeared . . . it wasn't so easy to trace.

Want to find out what happens to "the home with the missing keys" next?

Stay tuned . . . .

"Agent Remarks" by Ross Kaplan

Proposed Book Title

I know you're supposed to come up with the book before you come up with a title, but never mind.

If I ever write a real estate book -- and with something like 1,500 blog posts under my belt, I probably already have -- I know what I'll call it: 'Agent Remarks.'

That's a very "inside baseball-y" reference to how home information is presented on MLS.

In one field, called "Public Remarks," the agents extol all the home's virtues.

Meanwhile, in the field immediately above, called "Agent Remarks" -- intended only for agents -- they provide any 'dish': available selling bonuses, the Seller's true circumstances and motivation; a (more) honest assessment of the home's strengths and weaknesses.

P.S.: and if you're a Realtor reading this blog, remember that everything I write is copyrighted, and that I'm friendly with lots of the attorneys I used to practice corporate law with.

That would be Moss & Barnett -- not just very good lawyers but also "mentches" (Yiddish for "good, principled people"). You're welcome for the plug, guys . . .

P.P.S.: As any Buyer who's ever worked with me will vouch for, I always print out what Realtors call the "Unabridged Full" MLS report for my clients, so that they see and know everything I do.

Hmmm . . . "Unabridged Full . . . I think I know what to call the sequel!

Euphemisms -- One More

A Euphemism for the Euphemism

New Realtor euphemisms are being coined all the time.

Case in point: the following disclaimer I just encountered on MLS in the "Agent Remarks" field of a property currently being rented:

What the Realtor said: 'Standard tenant cleanliness to be expected.'

What the Realtor meant: the place is a mess (actually, that's still a euphemism).

Stale Listings -- Late Spring Edition

Is it Too Late to Get an Extension?

OK, so it's not quite as bad has having an exterior shot with snow on a day that the Twin Cities hit 95(!) sticky degrees.

However, given that April 30 was one of the most hyped deadlines in the housing market the past year or so, I was taken aback to see a listing today that blared, "Still time to get tax credit!! in both the agent and public remarks fields.

Too tired to do an MLS-wide search, but I'd guess it's got company . . . .

Making Use of "Agent Remarks"

Marketing Opportunities -- Taken & Missed

The MLS database has two places -- "Public Remarks" and "Agent Remarks" -- where listing agents (representing the Seller) can describe the property.

Good agents use the Agent Remarks field to supplement and punctuate the home's key selling points, as described in the Public Remarks. That's especially the case for larger, upper bracket homes, where there's more to say (or should be!).

Lacklustre agents leave the Agent Remarks field blank, or simply copy and paste the Public Remarks into it.

Guess which category the following falls into?

Agent Remarks: See agent or the City of Edina on pending assessments. Agents to verify all measurements.

Note: now that the road construction in Edina in winding down, the other shoe is dropping -- pending assessments that in some cases are tripping $20k. Ouch!

How's THAT for Seller Candor?

"And the Mechanical's are Ancient, Too!"

I just tripped across this in the Agent Remarks field of a St. Louis Park duplex that's currently on the market:

Sale Subject to Bank Approval of Short Sale. Cash Low and is fully rented on Long-term leases. Owner could occupy though with proper notice. Huge 4 car garage (each unit has private 2 car garage). Great condition, new roof, Great location.

I could be wrong, but I've got a hunch that "Cash Low" was supposed to be "Cash Flow."

That can't be helping the market time (250 days and counting).