Keeping Negotiations Positive"I'm not mad at you, I'm mad at your behavior."
Anyone who's ever been a social worker -- or the offspring of one (me) -- can relate to the above (although when you hear it at age 7, it does seem a tad bit, shall we say, "conceptual").
Still, the comment can be useful to keep in mind during real estate negotiations, on two levels: 1) both sides are playing roles -- either that of Buyer or Seller -- and that it's important to keep the identity of the individuals separate; and 2) Buyers and Sellers themselves are distinct from the agents representing them.
That last distinction can be particularly helpful in a tense negotiation: often times, what appears to be Realtor "bad behavior" -- like an especially "aggressive" offer, or digging in on what seem like petty issues -- is actually attributable to their client (and therefore more condonable).
As a result, it's easier not to (over)react, and keep the negotiation positive.
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